February, The Month of Love. Learn to Love Yourself & Improve Your Self-Confidence
February, The Month of Love. Learn to Love Yourself & Improve Your Self-Confidence
Nurturing your true self and being grateful is difficult when life’s tough.
You might ask yourself what have I got to be grateful for?
“I’ve no money, the kids are driving me mad, I’m always rushing around and I feel miserable.”
“What have I really got to be grateful for?”
Well, why not adopt an attitude of gratitude? It’s good for you.
Focusing on the positive things in life has been proven to improve self-esteem.
For example, keeping a Gratitude Journal is a diary of all the things you appreciate in life.
It’s different from a normal diary, as all the content is you focusing on the positive things in your life.
That’s not writing about the material things in your life.
It’s about experiences that lift our spirits.
Hearing the birds singing. The smell of cake in the oven. The feeling of fresh sheets on your bed.
It allows us to celebrate the present; “I am grateful for what I have now” and not “I will be grateful when I win the lottery”. To appreciate what we have rather than what we don’t have.
You’re stopping yourself focusing on the worst in life and noticing the positive.
In effect you start to create a habit to look for the good.
So, in the future if you are having a bad day, you can go back and read. It reminds you that can experience joy and happiness in your life. And that life has many good things on offer.
How’s this going to make me feel better?
True. Journaling is not going to sort the difficulties in your life.
But it has been proven by positive psychology researchers to have a big impact on health and helping people to thrive.
Reflecting on and fully experiencing the event evokes true positive emotion.
This releases the feel-good hormones dopamine and serotonin. Making us feel better straight away.
- improves happiness
- improves your mood
- boosts well-being
- helps people to maintain healthy relationships
- It increases positivity
- Improves self-esteem
- It helps you sleep better
What can I put in it?
You can write as much as you want, some authors have suggested 5 things a day. I say don’t put pressure on yourself, if you note 1 positive thing a day that is ok.
Be conscious about your new attitude of gratitude and keep out the negative. If you feel not so good – don’t put it there.
Keep it simple and easy, it doesn’t have to be deep. Make a note of very simple things. Expand your awareness. It’s your personal positive experience.
- Something you did well yesterday? Cleaned the fridge, cooked a lovely tea, shortened your to-do list, you listened to your body and rested, you showed yourself some kindness.
- The last time you laughed uncontrollably.
- The radio playing your favourite song.
- Relive a happy memory from childhood.
- The best part of the day, the moment in the day that you felt the happiest.
- Write a thank you letter to someone who made your life better
- Sharing a meal with someone you love.
- Watching the dog playing with the ball
Have fun with it. Be creative. Mix it up.
Put cinema tickets in it, photographs, or press flowers. Anything that’s a moment to remind you of the experience.
And there’s no right or wrong way of writing.
Remember it’s about you for you.
When should I start?
Now. Don’t wait. Maybe keep a morning journal before the day gets started. Go out to work on a happier note.
Or you could keep it by your bedside. Write it at the end of the day. Make sure every day ends with a smile.
And write as many things as you like. No pressure. If you write one thing everyday and really experience the emotion that’s ok.
Some may find it overwhelming at the beginning, but it’s worth pushing through as greater peace is on the other side.
Do I have to use a pen and paper?
I say to my clients that you can use an inexpensive notebook. There are gratitude journals that you can buy. Or you can use an app on your smartphone. It’s whatever works for you.
Diane Woolrich is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist working in private practice. She helps people live a life that is true to themselves, to be kind to themselves by changing their negative thoughts and behaviours, to be able to fulfil their true potential.